


Remember, Remember

by blacktail_chorus



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Character Study, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Gen, post-teh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4869719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacktail_chorus/pseuds/blacktail_chorus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each little step is part of the triumph of living, every day.</p><p>Or, John walks to work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember, Remember

A flicker of white on black catches his eye, moving the opposite direction in the morning commuter crowd thronging on the pavement. He doesn't turn his head to look.

He's queuing at the coffee shop. The long line is crammed between counter and door, those at the back squeezing in to avoid standing outside in the damp, windy chill. He stares resolutely forward. He's trying not to breathe on the woman in front of him. The man crowding him from behind is practically puffing into his ear. He doesn't take his scarf off, though he's now sticky and overheated.

He leaves without getting his coffee.

_my breathing is shallow and my face feels hot_

He turns left instead of right at the corner. Resolutely lengthening his stride, he jams his hands into the pockets of his long coat and exhales until his chest collapses against his spine. The swift inhale that follows is bracing; the cold air somehow dulls the enduring, petrol-and-rubbish scent of this part of the city.

This route takes him past a smudge of green space posing as a park. A young woman sitting on a bench has one hand wrapped around the handle of a buggy. She's pushing it back and forth, back and forth, as the infant swaddled inside emits a long, sirening wail. The woman is wearing slippers, and a dressing gown peeks out from under her wool coat.

His fists clench. He puts his head down until he's passed them by.

_I feel on edge--I feel like something is about to happen_

He's nearly reached the surgery by now. He pauses before he rounds the last corner, taking his hands from his pockets and pressing them gently against his face. He focuses on feeling the pad of each finger, the point of greatest pressure on the surface of each palm, the pinch and fold of the skin on his cheeks, the way his littlest fingers rest against the side of each nostril. He breathes in, and then out. In, and then out. 

He lets his hands fall back down to his sides.

_I feel anxious--I am okay--I am going into work--I'm looking forward to helping my patients today_

He walks in the front door. The waiting room is already full, though mercifully quiet in the early morning gloom. He nods to the receptionist as he walks back to his office. She returns a quick smile before attending to her station. She tidies her things before reaching up to tear off yesterday's page on the daily office calendar.

In neat block letters, the new page reads: Today is 5 NOVEMBER.

**Author's Note:**

> John certainly has to deal with a lot on this show, doesn't he? This is a bit of a look into some techniques his "trick cyclist" may have given him to help. CBT is short for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Feedback appreciated, especially if you've used CBT yourself. (Note: I am not a therapist and the framing of the story is drawn from my experiences, not clinical expertise.)
> 
> Anxiety is not only fears about big problems or important events. Sometimes, it's the water you swim in every day.


End file.
